To branch

To reach, to grow, to break. To be alone. But also to belong, to hold, to partake. To be strong.

Monday 12 September 2022. Evening

It's nearly 24 hours since the polls closed in Sweden for the 2022 General Election. With almost all votes counted, it seems that the right of centre coalition, with the support of the far-right party the Sweden Democrats (SD), will have a parliamentary majority of one seat. The votes that haven't yet been counted include...

Anniversary

Tuesday 30 August 2022 Today it's been 15 years since I moved to the UK. It makes me reflect on the times and tales, the person I was and the one I've become. I'm happier now than I've been for much of these years, but still question my decision to live here every day. And...

Summer solstice

It’s the longest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere, and I’ve just finished what I know will be the best book of 2022: Open Water by Caleb Azumah Nelson. “You stroke each of the dogs’ heads and watch them cower at your gall. You’re descending at a hellish pace but there’s no fire...

Friday 17.06.2022. Evening

Hottest day of the year in England and Wales. And Spain and France. Unnatural. It’s still warm in the house when I go to bed, and I hear mozzies and flies and bees that mistook indoors for outdoors when they saw the light of my lamp. Yesterday’s mozzies and flies and bees lie dead on...

Wednesday 15.06.2022. Afternoon

After watching Life After Life, the TV adaptation of Kate Atkinson’s novel, I’ve been thinking about death and the circularity of time. I live in both the past and the future, as well as savouring the now. I’m back in Wendover for a couple of weeks. This means no swimming, but instead there’s the cat...

Saturday 28 May 2022. Midday

Having avoided writing and exercise – things that make me feel good – all morning, I eventually sit down in the garden to feel a bit shit about myself. Sometimes my fear of failing is so deep and complex that I think it's actually success that I fear more: starting something, working hard and then...

Sunday 22 May 2022. Evening

The swimming spot in the river Cam, Cambridge, May 2022. Photo by Jessica Zarins Went for a long swim this morning. So long I struggled to warm up on the cycle home. It felt incredible, to not be in a rush and to just follow the river. The rest of the day I spent in...

Went to Riga. Came home

I've been going to Riga almost every year since 2016 (pandemic excluded). The first time I hoped for a sense of inherited belonging, that I'd feel at home in my ancestral city. It wasn't without disappointment that I realised that I'm not Latvian, but Swedish-Latvian, and don't belong in Riga, but belong where I create...

Sunday 8 May 2022. Afternoon

Using my old mechanical pencil for the first time in years. I bought it at the very high price of 87 SEK in 2002. My old school friend Sofia Eriksson was shocked that I spent so much money on a pencil, but I was thinking that I'd keep it forever. And I used it for...

Thursday 05 May, evening. Visit from a traveller

A travelling craftsman is staying in my house while they work at a fair nearby. We share stories in the evenings over food and wine, and discuss the state of the world over tea and chocolate. The traveller is from an Eastern European country which gets headlines in the west for its far-right, pro-Putin ideology,...