Friday 17.06.2022. Evening

Hottest day of the year in England and Wales. And Spain and France. Unnatural. It’s still warm in the house when I go to bed, and I hear mozzies and flies and bees that mistook indoors for outdoors when they saw the light of my lamp. Yesterday’s mozzies and flies and bees lie dead on... Continue Reading →

Wednesday 15.06.2022. Afternoon

After watching Life After Life, the TV adaptation of Kate Atkinson’s novel, I’ve been thinking about death and the circularity of time. I live in both the past and the future, as well as savouring the now. I’m back in Wendover for a couple of weeks. This means no swimming, but instead there’s the cat... Continue Reading →

The entropy of anxiety

Bo Burnham and Sally Rooney are both a few years younger than me, and more talented brilliant and successful than me. But they both seem to suffer many of the same anxieties as me, as our entire generation. Natural and ecological decline, economic hardships, and political uncertainty have been the backdrop to the millennial coming... Continue Reading →

Thursday 26 August 2021. Afternoon

Diesel, faeces, fish bone, fruit, leftovers, plastic polluted water. The bay is paradise but at a high cost. No rain since May, forest fires out of control in the east, and a rise in Covid cases. Greece is a very old country, where no water, island or mountain remains unchartered or untouched. And it's a... Continue Reading →

Therapy

Hello Doctor. Hello Jessica. What seems to be the problem? I feel an existential dread and anxiety over life itself, while also fearing death; my own, my loved ones, the natural world's. I'm trapped in an abyss-like darkness of my own thinking and the inevitable decline and death of the planet and human society. Petrified... Continue Reading →

Wandering vanishing Wendover Woods

Tracks on path in Wendover Woods. May 2021, photo by Jessica Zarins I find myself in Wendover again. For the past five years I’ve been coming a few times a year to look after a sensitive cat when his human goes away. The village, the house, and of course the cat are all close to... Continue Reading →

Wednesday 5 February 2020. Morning

Sleep was hard to come by after the neighbour brought home an overnight visitor. It made me grumpy in the morning, and getting up was hard too. Though presumably not as hard as the neighbour. I managed to leave by seven. It wasn't light, but not still dark. It looks like it might get brighter... Continue Reading →

End of British Summertime III

Time is running out. The day is getting shorter. I wake before my alarm before the light has come worrying that my contentment means that I am boring. The bickering of business the dialogue of democracy when what we need is action. People versus parliament planet versus profit. But I am bothering no one, why... Continue Reading →

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