Anniversary

Tuesday 30 August 2022 Today it's been 15 years since I moved to the UK. It makes me reflect on the times and tales, the person I was and the one I've become. I'm happier now than I've been for much of these years, but still question my decision to live here every day. And... Continue Reading →

Wednesday 15.06.2022. Afternoon

After watching Life After Life, the TV adaptation of Kate Atkinson’s novel, I’ve been thinking about death and the circularity of time. I live in both the past and the future, as well as savouring the now. I’m back in Wendover for a couple of weeks. This means no swimming, but instead there’s the cat... Continue Reading →

Saturday 28 May 2022. Midday

Having avoided writing and exercise – things that make me feel good – all morning, I eventually sit down in the garden to feel a bit shit about myself. Sometimes my fear of failing is so deep and complex that I think it's actually success that I fear more: starting something, working hard and then... Continue Reading →

Sunday 8 May 2022. Afternoon

Using my old mechanical pencil for the first time in years. I bought it at the very high price of 87 SEK in 2002. My old school friend Sofia Eriksson was shocked that I spent so much money on a pencil, but I was thinking that I'd keep it forever. And I used it for... Continue Reading →

Birtheve

On the eve of my birthday, I wake up from a dream about death. A body had been buried in a pond; maybe I had killed the person and put it there. But now I was part of the search team trying to find it and bring it back up, since the decomposition of the... Continue Reading →

Cambridge for Ukraine

Today I went on a march for peace for and solidarity with Ukraine. It was organised by Ukrainian scholars and members of the public with the intention of raising awareness of the severity of the conflict, and collecting funds for the aid effort. It was a sunny day and felt great to be out. My... Continue Reading →

How do you get rid of anger?

On my skin, in my dreams, and through my breath I start to see signs of repressed anger. It might actually be so repressed that I'm not entirely sure what I'm angry over. Which makes it very difficult to know how to unrepress it, let it out, and get rid of it. The main source... Continue Reading →

Sunday 6 February 2022. All day

I'm scared and sad because my father is in hospital. The blood around his heart is running slower than normal, which means he is at high risk of blood clots and a heart attack. It's been discovered very early, and he's receiving excellent care at the Academic Hospital in Uppsala. Thanks to this discovery he... Continue Reading →

Poopy phone: prose

Because of some heart palpitations, caused by stress and anxiety, I'm not drinking at the moment. So I can't even blame it on a good night, dropping my phone in the toilet. It was in my back pocket after watching Ocean's Eleven, tidying up the living room and the kitchen, and when brushing my teeth.... Continue Reading →

Another an’ ‘nother round

Went to the Arts Picturehouse to see Another Round. It's cheaper on Mondays, and my membership has been extended because of Covid. It's been nearly a year since I was last in the cinema, to watch Tenet. And the trip to the cinema, and the film itself, made me happy with my commitment to celebrate... Continue Reading →

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